The River Tees

This is a picture of the River Tees, not far from the village of Winston.  It's one of my favourite places right now, far enough from anything that all you can hear is the babbling of the river, the wind singing in the trees and the birds arguing with each other.  I come to places like this to clear my head and put current circumstances into perspective.  When I lived in Lancaster, I used to drive to Heysham or Morecambe to sit by the sea and do the same thing.  Its the one thing I miss about living in Lancaster (apart from a couple of friends).  Not being near the sea.

This one's the same place, looking up river.  Until today, I had thought that I was coming to the river because I can't easily get to the sea, not under the current day release conditions anyway.  Today a new thought occurred to me.  Today I realised that I used to go to Heysham or Morecambe because I couldn't come and sit by the Tees.  Today, while the maniac charged about killing rabbits and chasing pheasants, I realised that this river is in my blood.

This is another of my favourite places, a little further east along the river, in the woods near Piercebridge.  The perfect place for a quick smoke and to just (and this might sound daft) let the beauty of it fill you with the strength to do what you have to do.

If I were to drive a little further upriver, to Barnard Castle or Middleton, to sit down with the old fellas and tell them who I was, they wouldn't give a rat's arse.  But if I told them my grandfather was Maurice Collinson, or my great-uncle Jack Hind, the reception would be entirely different.  Collinsons and Hinds have been part of Teesdale for centuries, working the land, building the community.  Sadly, Jack was the last Hind to live in Teesdale, but the Collinsons soldier on.

In coming to terms with what's happening to Gran I have to come to terms with my own heritage.  And part of that heritage is this river and the valley it meanders through.  There's something about it that's important to me, something vital that I've only just discovered.

And for the record, the maniac really did kill a rabbit.

One final, unconnected piece of news: the freak has a new suitor.  He's called Khan, he's very handsome.  But he would be, wouldn't he?  All her suitors are good looking fellas.